Emotional Intelligence

Three Steps to Owning It

Here is a three-step process to learning how to own it, that is, to be responsible and accept blame.

Step 1 – Develop awareness

  • Choose something in or about your life that is working well. Write it down on a piece of paper or your tablet.
  • List at least 10 thoughts, actions, beliefs and emotions that you most associate with this aspect of your life.
  • Reflect on your list and notice how your thoughts, actions, beliefs and emotions are helping you create this successful part of your life.

Now, own it! Own the thoughts and actions and beliefs and emotions that are creating this good aspect of your life. Own the good stuff.

  • Choose something in your life that isn’t working out the way you would like it. It could be your business, job, income, a relationship, and family life.
    • How have you been thinking about this situation?
    • What negative thoughts do you have about the situation?
    • What actions have been taken, or not been taken to contribute to this situation?
    • What are the beliefs and emotions that are helping to create the situation?
    • List at least 10 thoughts, actions and beliefs and emotions that are contributing to this aspect of your life not working the way you would like.
      • Have you used physical and emotional energy blaming, complaining or making excuses for this situation?
    • In this situation, if you decided to own it, 100% and you took full responsibility for it, how would you think and act and feel differently?

What have you learned from this exercise to increase your awareness about the value of Own It!, and not blaming, complaining, or making excuses?

How do these lesson apply to everything in your life both personally and professionally?

            Step 2 – Make a decision.

Decisions are the bridge between thoughts and action. Of course, we always want to make the decision that will bring us the greatest amount of happiness and help us to reach our goals.

As much as we want that, however, it’s not so easy to achieve. By taking responsibility for the consequences of the decision we make, we remain in control. Remaining in control means that we also have the power to change the outcome. If we decide to go on stage, we risk people not liking us and we understand that possible result. But, those who fail to understand and accept the potential effect will end up unhappy and complaining. They lose sight of their power.

Remain in control when making decisions and you will be ready to take action.

            Step 3 – Take action.

Here are some implementation tools to get you into action. Ask those you trust to support you to help make this change.

We actually have something called “The Two-Buck Rule,” for any group of two or more people (including business teams, whole organizations, families, and even two spouses). It helps minimize and even potentially eliminate, blaming, complaining and excuses.

Here are the guidelines, which can be easily adapted to your particular situation:

  • You need to have a bowl, box, or anything else in which to collect money.
  • When someone blames, complains, or makes an excuse, he or she must put two bucks into the bowl.

For the two-buck rule to be effective, it’s essential that people pay up immediately. Absolutely no delays.

The money is kept in the box until it reaches a certain value where it is either donated to charity or used in some way that’s beneficial to the community.

The intention of The Two-Buck Rule is not really to be punitive. It’s to create a lighthearted awareness, a commitment to integrity and to “owning it.”

What do you think? Have you taken actions to identify blaming, and to avoid blame? Thanks for sharing.

For questions about this post or for information on becoming a fearless leader, contact Dr. Cathy Greenberg and The Fearless Leader Group at (888) 320-1299 or by email at hello@fearlessequalsfreedom.com.

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