Losing, even temporarily, your ability to be mindful can have potentially devastating results.

In 1996, I was six months pregnant and, although feeling distinctly unwell, I had committed to facilitate what was a very important meeting for a global director of JP Morgan. Two days prior to the meeting, a nurse practitioner had told me that the fetus’s heartbeat was undetectable.

“Don’t panic, this happens,” she said. “I’ll discuss it with the doctor and get back to you.” I had told myself that either the baby would be all right or it wouldn’t – I had to fulfill my commitments.

Even as I became more ill, I had such a fear that if I didn’t show up I wouldn’t be trusted or valued in my role. So I forced myself to make the 2½-hour drive to the meeting. During the entire drive all I could focus on was the possibility of another miscarriage, all the while keeping up appearances as a member of our leadership team, a thought leader and a top producer in a global consulting and technology firm.

During the break for lunch, a message from the doctor’s office informed me that the baby had indeed gone into demise and that I was in the early stages of toxic shock.

With such terrible and frightening news, did I leave the meeting and go to the hospital for critical medical care? No, I did not. Instead, I remained focused on my commitment, finished the meeting and then – when I felt my job was complete – I went to the hospital. And even as I was admitted and underwent surgery, including a week of transfusions to cleanse my body of toxins, all that I could think about was the deliverables I had promised to my client the following week.

Later, during a period of self-reflection and true mindfulness, I realized that I should have been paying attention to what was most important in the moment, rather than worrying about the future and what it held for my client.

Lucky for me, my client never knew what had transpired. In the end, when the client did find out what happened on that day, everyone demonstrated kindness, understanding and even a twinge of pain when I shared my story long after the project came to a successful close.

They were among of the most loving and understanding people I’ve ever met. To this day, we stay in touch and I am happy to call them friends. Funny to think that I feared disappointing them, when in the end, they clearly felt that they disappointed me in my time of need.

Have you ever confused your priorities, only to find out later that you should have been more mindful? Thanks for sharing.

For questions about this post or for information on becoming a fearless leader, contact Dr. Cathy Greenberg and The Fearless Leader Group at (888) 320-1299 or by email at hello@fearlessequalsfreedom.com.